Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How does one acquire holy water?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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