he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
