I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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