I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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