...so i touched it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
