I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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