Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
