There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
