This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
soo... how was my night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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