Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
