it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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