do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
