I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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