so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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