blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize