hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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