And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
