hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
