We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
