I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
