Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
