I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize