Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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