She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
