sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
