No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
