well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
