Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
