I wannas sexs uuuuu
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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