I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
