Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
