oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
