Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
