does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
