She's JV to your varsity
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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