ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
