My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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