I'm lost and stupid without you.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
