Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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