Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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