Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You left your phone here
Wait...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
