i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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