he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
