he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
