i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
home. puking in laundry basket.
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Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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