Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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