I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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