She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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