You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
