small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
