Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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