Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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