just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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