i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
