ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
