we're blogging at a bar
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
