Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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