Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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