his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
