I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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