At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
