got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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