you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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