I heard we made out
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if i died would you start the facebook group?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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