The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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