Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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