I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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