so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so let's talk penis.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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