Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i think i scared a bird with my dick
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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