I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
