I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
