1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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