you guys were way drunker than both of me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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