Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Randomize