so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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