I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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