Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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