Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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