Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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