Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
