Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
